For the past little while I have been noticing a few shifts in my body stearing towards the greater. This is exciting to me. Even though these shifts are only tiny they are still ones that I have to make before I can get my body back to its full potential. It has been a process and not an easy one but I am proud of myself and those in my life for sticking with me during this entire process. They have not only been there for me but they have given me strength and courage to never give up and to always fight for what I deserve!! and WE deserve our health.
It is easy to give up, it is easy to feel sorry for your self or wish for a miracle, but what is not easy, is not giving up, taking charge of your own life & believing in yourself even when you feel you have nothing. But instead we put ourselves down and constantly tell ourselves that we cant do this or we are to dumb to do that. We don€™t trust ourselves nor do we give ourselves credit for anything we are doing that is good. But what I wonder is why is it that we make it so easy to put ourselves down, why is it that we seem to accept all the negative comments and pull them inside our heart and body & hold on to them so tightly that we start to believe we are this awful, useless, person who doesn€™t deserve anything, yet we disregard the good comments & laugh with a sarcastic smirk as if it is impossible for there to be any good in us?.. I am a culprit of this….I think we all are & can admit to it. But why are we like this?… .. . why don€™t we trust ourselves? love ourselves?. why are we always so negative towards everything and anything?..Why not just go with the flow & be happy with what you have NOW and worry later……..or better yet never. I am finding that as the days go on I am worrying less, and trusting my inner self way more than I had before… I finally realize that the power we hold REALLY is within ourselves and I wish others would see it within themselves as well.
3 years ago, I expeienced my first symptom it started in my wrists then fingers, and then traveled in my knees, legs, feet, ankles, which all started to swell become restritcted making it hard for me to hold or lift anything and when I say anything I mean I couldnt even lift a plate, blanket, towel if you payed me too… my strength both physical and mentally was gone. My back, shoulders, arms you name it every area of my body ached, burned, tightened, tingled basically that was my body shutting down and surrendering to Lyme. All my muscles started to atrophy, I lost 25lbs, and was told more than once that I looked anorexic……basically I started looking like a skeleton with long hair & straight bangs. Now that I seen what I look like as a real life skeleton I NEVER want to see that again!!! ohhhhhh ya to add to my skeleton, long hair straight bang look it was also FRIZZY!!! (but that changed fast because even though I felt the way I felt I still HAD to have straight perfectly soft hair and I have to say Tijen is one pro star straightener now!.
I was extremely fatigue, It was difficult to breath, my heart hurt and had alot of pressure, I had numbness in hands and arms, itchy and burning eyes, confusion, memory loss, dizziness, loss of personality, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis I had muscle spasms/contractions, difficulty sleeping and getting up, head pressure/ache, anxiety, lack of motivation, depression, jaw pain, stiff painful neck, painful/ swollen joints, low body temperature, night sweats, and muscle pain/weakness….to list a few. It took 2 years to finally figure out I had Lyme disease.
For 2 years I barely left my house never had any type of social life pretty much I lived through other peoples lives on tv. I slept alot, my body was always so tired and in pain and sleeping was a way for me to getrelief and a chance to have dreams where I wasn’t sick anymore. As time went on I ended up in a wheelchair and that was really hard for me to accept, me in a wheelchair?.. as if I was better than someone else, but as the days went on I started to accept that this is how it is for now so I might as well enjoy myself whether I am walking or sitting in a chair, and although I had our little Lucy right there with me during the wheelchair rides which made it easier for m, I still knew this was not going to be me for ever.
During my process through everything I was altering my diet and lifestyle with holistic nutrition, chinese medicine, herbal medicine, cupping, gua sha, massage, acupuncture, Juicing, Deydrating, I used a biomat 2 x a day and did intense sweats wrapped in an emergancy blanket, I had a blood anaylisis done, Igenex food seneitvity tests, I have treatment done 3 times a week using a bicom frequency machine, exercise and the list goes on. I used all of these as tools to help me achieve where I am today!!! Keep in mind that everything I have done is 100% all Natural !!!!! I have not used any pharmaceutical drugs or antibiotics & I am very impressed with myself.
Where I am today………
Today was a very productive day……it started off by me not wanting to get out of bed to going to the gym with my parents (which I try to do atleast 3 x a week) & have noticed huge improvements. When I first started going I started off by using no weights to 2lb weights to now 25lb weights and 30 minutes on the eliptical. When I came home from the gym I got ready and went to Tijens Marital Arts class with her!!! It has been THREE years since I have done a kickboxing class and it felt good 😉 This just proves my strength is building and I am going to make it contiune. I don€™t ever want to be or feel weak again, I am taking my strength back!!!!!! And Even though its not 100% back, its something….today I was able to wear boxing gloves punch the bag and do combos with Tijen. 😉 never did I think that would have happened..not yet at least! I figured I would just do a little bit of bag work while the class did there thing, then just sit and rest and watch, but I only sat out while they were doing there drills chin ups, push ups, spiderman moves, crawling & jumping frog squats or something lol! thats what it looked like anyways, a little to much for me right now but I was okay with my little break.
Then we went back on to the bags, and then moved into doing combos with a partner, I was a little nervous on this because my wrists aren€™t the strongest, especially my left one so when doing jabs I just had to take it lighter and Tijen had to be more gentle on me lol.. my knee is still very very swollen (hasn€™t changed) but the restriction isn’t as bad as it was before, I can semi bend it but need to help guide/lift my leg with my hand in order to lift it. My foot still really hurts so I wasn’t able to do any of the feet work that comes with proper fighting stance no pivots and no bends not yet at least 😉 But I have to say Im tired now… zZzzZz
So basically what I am saying is NEVER give up! never make up an excuse as to why you cant do something, if you are in pain do what you can right now!!!! dont wish what you could do! Make it happen!! Find your strength somewhere even if it is within someone else for right now! I found mine <3 own your life back!
Keeping you and your HEALTH beautiful