Imagine each day that goes by and you have no idea as to how you will feel, how much energy you will have or whether or not you have the motivation to get out of bed. You used to be someone who never stopped was always on the go and now has so many restrictions that hold you back from doing all the things you loved to do and all of the things you want to do. Instead you are bed bound, house bound moving from one room to another longing for the day when you will feel back to “normal”, being able to do anything without having to wait to see how you will feel the next day. My days are starting to improve………well….. slightly a very slow process but ill take what I can get. I am starting to get more days where I am not as tired, my modivation to do more things is coming back, and I feel as though my strength has improved. Although I am not how I use to be, I will get there.
I’ve noticed under going this experience, this journey, that I get excited over the things that I can honestly say I didn’t truly appreciate before, things that I just expected my body to do but didn’t truly realize the value and gift that I had. Opening a jar, changing without having someone to help you, making your own bed, or simply walking, all of these things I and most people without even realizing take advantage of, we worry and complain about everything we dont have and even the things we have we complain that it is not good enough!…. we seem to always find something wrong with the way we look and of course there is always something that we hate about ourseleves even if there is nothing to hate, why is that? When I think back as to how I veiwed myself I find myself thinking “ashley are crazy” Instead of being grateful and apperciating the things I had I found myself worrying about how I had no new clothes, how my hair wasnt long enough, how I wasn’t thin enough, how I never had enough money, the list was endless there was always something, pretty ridiculous. It was almost as though I was trying to find something not right even though I had everything I could have dreamed of, I had an amazing supportive family, an incrediable partner, the bestest of friends, the cutest animals and we were all healthy & happy.
As I move forward I now realize that health & love is all I need!! even though my health is weakened & not 100%, still I am grateful for the strength and power that I hold inside.
worry less………………………….. live the most